And so I thought
Maybe it was just me
Maybe I was too far gone in my own head to be pulled out
Maybe I was overthinking on things I shouldn’t
But the tears fell anyway
The exhaustion caught up
And the people I wanted to reach for me
Never did
But here I was smiling through all this pain
I am so wicked to myself
My body rocking from all the sobs
Why am I so wicked to myself?
And all these so called friends I have
They only call me when they need something
And here I am drowning in my emotions
Do I dare call for an anchor?
Shouldn’t they already be here?
For all the times I was there for them
In more ways than I was ever there for myself
All these hard to swallow pills I usually kept hidden on the top shelf
Oh girl, you are so wicked to yourself
I think about how suicidal I am
About how this depression is high functional
How this ADHD is concerningly distracting
And how these thoughts flood in
My God, I’m tired of fighting
If I disappeared would anybody notice?
If I died today I feel like I would finally feel important
If I died today I feel like I would finally be found
Excerpt Taken from Third Year I Knew Love coming soon! Stay Tuned!